Adoption classes,

Today was very rewarding we learned about what kind of people are involved in the adoption process! About the teachers and case workers and the foster parents and the birth parents and the roles that they play in the whole process! Its so crazy to me that a mother could just give their child away! but its kinda said that a family has to be broken up before we can adopt a child to be in our forever family! i cant wait to go back next week and learn more! there is so much paper work and reading to do! We have so much work and cleaning and organizing to do with our house to get it completely ready to be a foster/adopt home!!! This was such a great day we met so many wonderful families that share the same interest as we do!!! just what we needed!!! looking forward to the future!

tomorrow,

Well we start our adoption process tomorrow! im so excited we have class from 9am-4pm! i really hope it wont be boring! This is a huge step in our life its really scary!!! wish me luck!!!! 

whats wrong with me?

i dont feel like myself im so lost! Im just so unhappy! im so tired!im so fat im so angry! Im tired of my mom living so far far away! i miss my 3 brothers, who are all over the world! i miss my dad who doesn't feel he needs me in his life at the moment! I miss my grandmother (memaw) most of all she was the person that i could talk to when i was feeling like this! she has been gone now for 5years cant believe that! I miss HER i miss HER I miss HER so much!! I just dont feel like i have the support group like i use to! Ive been such a downer lately this isnt me What is wrong??? I am missing something huge in my life and i hope this new beginning is what I Need! I dont sleep i just lay in bed at night getting pissed cuz Toms asleep and im not! I hate listening to him snore! When im at work i love it im happy go lucky but its when i get home and its quite when i start feeling like this! There is so much i need to be doing around the house but im too busy sitting around feeling sorry for myself. My friends are always inviting me to hang out or do something but i really cant remember when i took any of them up on there offers!Why in the hell am i pushing my friends away?? I feel like i need a vacation and i just had one a month ago! Im still really upset that Tom and i lost our baby next week will be three months since it happened and im so miserable!!!! i know everything happens for a reason but im still so mad about the whole thing!! i need prayer im going through alot!!!

Becomeing a parent!!!

Well last year was one of the hardest years of my life!!! I want to put it all behind me and move forward! Saturday is our first class for the adoption process! We finally decided to adopt a child! I know that there is a child out there for my husband and i!!! I pray that God gives us strength and patience to get through these next few months!!!!